Sleepless Nights and Eternal Instants

Now that Jake is safely home, we've had lots of inquiries about how we're doing. The truth? A little overwhelmed and all-nighter tired. Jake likes to pull the late shift and sleep the days away. But his big sis is just the opposite. Therefore, Mommy and Daddy work both.

But despite the wee-hour floor-pacing to sooth our wide-awake son, and showerless mornings for Mommy, we're getting our new groove on. Grace is as fun and feisty as ever, walking the line between proud big sis with lots of kisses for little Jake--to slightly miffed and a wee bit dramatic about having to share her stage. Jake continues to do well doing what babies do--sleeping, eating, pooping and peeing, with minimal monitor beeps.

Yesterday, I ventured out with them for the first time alone. We just walked uptown and back in our latest craigslist find, a double stroller I dubbed the "freedom train" since it's my ticket to getting out of the house with two little ones. Tired and baby-puke stained, I couldn't help but think I was experiencing an "eternal instant" as we walked along. As writer Max Lucado puts it, it's "a moment that reminds you of the treasures surrounding you. Your home. Your peace of mind. Your health. A moment that tenderly rebukes you for spending so much time on temporal preoccupations such as savings accounts, houses, and punctuality. A moment that can bring a mist to the manliest of eyes and perspective to the darkest life."

Yup, that's what life with two little ones will do to you. So back to the original question...we're doing great!

OH HAPPY DAY!!!

At long last, Jake is HOME!!! WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Uncle Bruce stayed with Gracie while Mommy and Daddy made their last trek to the hospital. After final instructions were given, Jake made a victory lap around the NICU for hugs and well wishes from the doctors and nurses who took such good care of him for the past 59 days. Then it was time to head home to meet big sister Grace. We'll write more after we get settled, but for now, a big THANK YOU to all who have shared in our journey and an even bigger HALLELUJAH that we finally have our boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back on Track

I am feeling MUCH better this morning about Jake. While Eric stayed home with a sleeping Grace, my Dad and I had a late-night meeting with the top NICU doc last night (who he's known for quite awhile.) She listened to all our concerns and assured us that she thinks Friday night's very scary event was a true choking incident that could have happened to a full-term baby. (And we now know Jake should never receive his meds straight when he's starving--they should always be mixed with formula.) She talked to us about how we'd handle such an occurrence at home, including suctioning Jake's mouth with what I've used in the past as a nasal aspirator. Since the event, he's had great feeds without further incident. She plans to watch him for the next few days, but believes he's ready, barring additional episodes. (Plus he'll come home on the monitor, reflux meds, and caffeine to help keep him in line.) We're trying not to get too excited in case it's another false alarm, but I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Stay tuned...

Another Bump In the Road

Having gone without incident for over 24 hours (as of yesterday), we were pretty sure Jake would be coming home on Monday. But once again, we got too excited too soon as the preemiecoaster lurched back to life and made an unexpected drop. Last night, Jake had one of the worst episodes I've seen yet--passing out and requiring oxygen. He had choked on some reflux meds and had a hard time recovering. While the incidents are less frequent, they are no less scary--and not something we feel equipped to handle at home. After checking him out, the doctor on duty still feels these are preemie-related issues that time should cure. In the meantime, he resumed Jake's caffeine to see if that helps. But as we hit the 39-week mark (and start week 9 in the NICU), I can't help but worry that there's something more to blame. Please pray that the doc is right, that the incidents disappear and that Eric and I can maintain our sanity and strength as we wait.

Cute As Can Be!!!

As promised, here are some pictures of the happy siblings/cousins. Robbie is just adorable, Ben is a proud big bro, and Gracie was smitten!

A New Cousin!!!

Jake is proud to announce the arrival of his newest cousin, Robert Wolf Rada (a.k.a. Robbie). He is rumored to look exactly like big bro Ben, but Mommy and Gracie will see for themselves tomorrow morning and be sure to post pics pronto. YAY ROBBIE!!!

It Aint Over Till The Fat Baby Drinks

We're so close to Jake's homecoming we can taste it, but he still needs to perfect the feeding thing. He's up to eight bottles a day, but has yet to make it through a 24-hour cycle without having an episode during a feed, or needing to be tubed when he can't finish the bottle.

Eric and I now equate feedings to the old gameshow "Press Your Luck." As we cautiously proceed with what should be a fairly stress-free task, we occasionally chant, "No Wammies, No Wammies!" (You have to know the show to get the Wammie part.) If he's already blown a feed, the pressure's off since we know he'll have to start over the next day anyway (the cycle starts fresh at 8:30am). But if he's good up to that point, the stakes are higher. (I asked a nurse if he can smell fear, but we decided that only applies to dogs and horses.)

Anyhoo, the day is getting closer. In the meantime, Eric and I took the infant CPR class (along with the grand'rents and Mary and her daughter) and have been trained on the monitor we'll be going home with. (Mama Bear had to do a bit of "lobbying" to make the monitor happen since many docs feel it's more for the parent than the baby and can be a real pain in the neck with all sorts of false alarms, etc., sure to wake a 2-year-old and crazy poodle. But we're the ones that have to live with it--and ourselves, for the one time we wished we had it.)

So that's the latest. Please keep praying for no more apnea or bradys while eating, and that Jake finds his bottles good to the last drop so he graduates and vacates!

Close But No Cigar

After Monday's transfusion and reflux meds, Jake seemed to have improved dramatically. So much so that when I arrived for his 11:30am feed yesterday, one doc predicted that he could be heading home by the weekend. He'd been bumped up to 8 feeds and taken quite a few in a row with no episodes (apnea or bradys) and no need for the tube. On top of that good news, the eye doc gave Jake his followup exam (since the previous finding was that his eyes were immature), and he passed with flying colors! Needless to say, I was downright giddy when I got home, and began washing up his clothes and digging all the newborn equipment out of the attic.

But when I called to see how the next feed went, my turbo nesting came to a screeching halt. He'd had an episode, and has had two since. Looking at our moose of a baby (by preemie standards, since he's now over 8 pounds), he APPEARS to be ready to come home, but maybe "Club NICU" is just too much fun. (Heck, there are days I wish I could climb into a warm isolette and forget everything. Wait, scratch that--sounds too much like bedrest.)

So we're back to JJT (see previous entry). Seems he's just not ready, regardless of how much we are.

Life on the Preemiecoaster

Today proved to be a busy day for Mr. Jake (and scary one for us). After getting the results of his morning blood draw, the docs decided he needed a transfusion. They described the cause as preemie apnea and explained that since he is growing faster than a full-term baby, his body isn't making red blood cells fast enough, and that a transfusion would give him the boost he needed. Authorizing the use of a stranger's blood was a scary prospect for Eric and me, but with no time for Eric to donate (the turnaround is about a week) and reassurance from the doctors that the blood is heavily screened and the lesser of two evils, we gave the OK. I was able to hold him as the blood was pumped into him over a two-hour period, and could literally watch him go from pale with blueish nailbeds to a healthy pink.

Hopefully this will be the only transfusion he needs and will be a significant step in the right direction. Additionally, the docs started some meds for reflux. Between the transfusion and meds, we're hoping to resolve the apnea and brady episodes.

In the meantime, please keep up the prayers and consider giving blood if you can...not for Jake, but for anyone who might need it. (I asked the nurse if she had any information on Jake's donor, and she laughed. Guess they reserve the detailed descriptions for dating services and sperm banks.)

Anyway, that's the latest from the preemiecoaster. Here's hoping the ride is almost over.

Date Night

Every weekend I have two hot dates.

Friday night is movie night with Eric. We look forward to unwinding together in front of our weekly Blockbuster selection, which inevitably one or both of us doesn't like. (I'm a sucker for a good romantic comedy and he's more of a blood and guts guy.) Still, we're in the same place at the same time (not an easy feat these days) enjoying each other's company.

Saturday nights are reserved for my much smaller man. We snuggle and enjoy a good meal, which often leads to another activity--a rousing game of Baby Jenga. (For those of you who aren't familiar with Jenga, it involves removing wooden blocks from a tower and stacking them on top without toppling the whole shabang.) Equally tedious and nerve-racking, Baby Jenga involves feeding Jake without him setting off the monitor or throwing up. If we get through the feed without incident, we both win. If not (like tonight), there's always next time. Either way, he becomes extra cuddly afterwards, ensuring I'll be back for more. :->

JJT

This weekend, Jake will have been in the NICU for 6 weeks. And at 7 lbs. 6 ozs. today, he's looking rather beasty compared to some of his more peanutty roomies. But looks can be deceiving. Oral (vs. tube) feeds are still hit or miss, and he continues to "brady" (heart drop) several times a day. As other babies come and go, we are still waiting patiently for Mr. Jake to be good and ready to come home. Clearly he's operating on JJT (Jake Jentes Time). So for now, more waiting and praying that someday isn't so far away.