A Little Like Lot's Wife

For those of you who don't know me well, I'm always digging for gold. Not Anna Nicole Smith-style, but looking for little nuggets to help navigate my way through the wild ride of life. Of course the Bible is a good place to start. But, sometimes my ears and heart are more receptive to His messages from the mouths--and keyboards--of other people. People I can rattle off my list of followup questions to, or write back on the subject at hand. (I started writing letters to my favorite authors, manufacturers, and anyone I thought needed to hear from me since elementary school. Yes, big-haired, bespectacled 12-year-olds can be quite insightful...or so I thought.)

One person whose words have hit me over the head more times than I can count is Angie Smith--wife, mother, author and fellow Anne of Green Gables enthusiast. Her nuggets can be found at http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com/


Last week she tackled Lot's wife, who I didn't realize I had so much in common with (including an affinity for salt.) Angie writes:


"We don't ever learn her name, but her legacy is one of looking back. She has been rescued from death, from sin and depravity, and there is something that still haunts her enough to stop moving toward whatever is ahead."


She goes on to say:


"God has been gracious with me for many years in my turning back. A glimpse of what could have been, a temptation that makes me question my faith. An earth-shattering loss* that beckons me to believe that the mountain is too far and the valley will be just fine." (*Angie lost a baby girl hours after she was born.)


On the subject of what's holding us back:


"It has been swallowed by grace, friend. And you need not miss what He has for you by believing there is something worth going back for. Leave it be. The Lord has told you where to go and it's time to walk. Eyes straight ahead, tangled in the spectacular love of a Savior Who wants nothing less for you than the summit. And as you stare at what might have been, you are immobilized, unable to bring Him the glory He deserves. And also, He might make you salt. Just saying."


Of course Andrew is the first thing that came to mind. But he's not all.


As the self-proclaimed "Queen of Sentimentality" I probably wouldn't have left elementary school if I hadn't outgrown the desks. Saying I'm not a fan of change is an understatement. But I'm working on that. I still don't believe in change for the sake of change. And I don't believe we should ever forget the people and events who helped shape who we are today.

But when stranded on "Memory Lane," or "What-If Way,"sometimes you just gotta make a u-turn.

...Or run the danger of becoming the world's second-biggest salt lick.

Happy Birthday, Gracie-Girl

How quickly this...

Grows into this...

Dear Gracie,

Four years ago you made me a mommy. The most fulfilling, humbling and challenging experience I've ever known. You ignited a powerful love--unconditional and fierce--helping me realize how God must feel about us. Your bright spirit and sweetness add color to my days and joy to my heart. Your stubborn determination and feisty femininity test and stretch me--in a good way. But most of all, your very presence makes the world a better place. I am blessed to be your mommy, and so thankful for your life! Happy 4th Birthday!

Love Always,

Mommy XOXO

Sum-Sum-Summertime

One of my favorite shots from the most wonderful time of the year--at least in my book--summer! Call me Scrooze, but when given the choice between chestnuts roasting on an open fire and fireworks, I choose the latter! Despite record-breaking highs and humidity that does my 'do in (think Rosana Rosanadanna), it's been a wonderful 8 weeks since summer started (but who's counting!) Highlights include my fav holiday (the 4th!), our annual pilgrimage to the promised land (OCNJ), visits from Southern fam, the Jakester's 2nd bday, helping my sis move to the new and improved Casa de Rada, long sunny days, warm nights under a silver moon and starry skies, bare feet, blueberries, sweaty little heads that smell of suntan lotion...And the best part is, it ain't over yet!

Trusting the Editor in Chief

June 27th will mark two years since our sweet Andrew went home to heaven. As time marches on, the indelible footprints he left on my heart are no less evident. If anything, they just feel more familiar.

I've come a long way from repeatedly dissecting the "transcript" of what happened. But occasionally my thoughts drift back to the calm before the storm.

As I writer, it's hard to turn off my mental editing tools. I love to play with words and rework them in just the right combinations. Admittedly, I've even rewritten Andrew's story in my head--trying out several different endings, all of which I perceive as "happy." None of which resemble what actually happened.

Recently, I came across something that's helped ease my urge to edit. A friend, whose blog I read faithfully, recalled the words of Dr. James Boice--the former pastor of the church where Eric and I met. He'd died before we started attending, but his legacy is still strong there. A few days after learning he had liver cancer (and 8 weeks before he died) he posed the question:

"If God does something in your life, would you change it? If you'd change it, you'd make it worse. It wouldn't be as good. So that's the way we want to accept it and move forward, and who knows what God will do?" 

Do I still daydream about what it would be like to kiss Andrew's forehead, give him a bath, or watch him in the mix of a wrestling match between his brother and sister? Absolutely.

But that doesn't mean I've lost trust in the author of the universe to make good of Andrew's--or any--story. He may not choose the same ending I'd hoped for, but somehow He'll make it even better.

A Picture and A Prayer Festival--And A Little Dixie Too!

Well, hello again! So much for updating more regularly. I guess I've been so busy living life, it's hard to find time to document it.

Anyhoo...here's my new favorite pic of the kids and me taken by their daddio. Although it was shot just a few weeks ago, the plaid background is already history. (Can you hear Eric's big "Woo to the Hoo!" since he was never a fan?) It's all thanks to some chocolate brown slipcovers, fun throw pillows, a great area rug and the surprisingly discriminating taste of my personal designer "JR" (that's Jacob Robert--my little shopping companion.) When I told Eric that the simple changes really updated the space with an air of sophisticated whimsy, he told me I'd been watching too much HGTV. True that. Not sure why I'm speaking hip hop though.

On the topic of faux designers, I'd like to pause for a moment of silence for the late Dixie Carter, the feisty Southern star of one of my favorite '80s sitcoms, "Designing Women." No one could deliver a more eloquently-put smackdown with the perfect mix of class and sass--all without ever smearing her expertly-applied lipstick. Julia Sugarbaker--the quintessential Steel Magnolia--you'll be missed! Not to worry, we'll meet again someday--on Lifetime. (Where I also go for my beloved Golden Girls fix--another tribute for another day.)

Switching gears, as advertising committee co-chair for our church's Children's Prayer Festival, here's my plug to drum up business. It's a free event with everything from food to a moon bounce, plus the chance for kids to meet the people in their neighborhood-- from farmers to firefighters--and learn how to pray for them. Since I'm a somewhat paranoid safety-girl, if you want all the details--like when and where--leave a comment and I'll contact you directly.

Thank you for being a friend.

(If that doesn't make you finish the themesong, you need more Lifetime in your TV diet.)

If My Blog Were A Plant It'd be Dead By Now

So I've been a bit busy leading up to and since Christmas. But that's no reason to completely abandon my little blog. Since I started it to chronicle the lives of our little ones, I'd better add a few more entries before they're not-so-little. (Time to get crackin'--as evidenced by the pic of Jake where he looks like he's about 3.)

So what have you missed?

Christmas was one of the best ever! Grace was really into the festivities, as she patiently waited for Santa to bring her a "doll that moves." Which also happens to be a doll that wets--frequently-- so I'm back to buying diapers for two "kids." The Jakester was much more easily amused with all the blinking lights and shiny paper (as was his dad--JUST KIDDING!)

We made a whirlwind of stops from PA to Ohio and back. Always great to spend quality time with the fam--near and far! But the ride back from Ohio in a horizontal blizzard is one that we won't soon forget. (Combined with the odiforous reminders of a carsick daughter coming and going. She's her mama's girl. :->)

On New Year's Eve, we were excited to host the Radas. The little guys checked out early, but you've never seen a 3- and 4-year-old more pumped to toot their horns and toast their glasses of sparkling grape juice at "midnight." (And by midnight I mean 9pm, with a strategically placed and specially altered clock nearby.)

A few days later, Gracie started dance class and is now in full-on ballerina mode. Whether or not she ever dives into Swan Lake, it's a joy to watch her in all of her twirly tulle glory. Speaking of watching, since Jake is usually a spectator at her class, he's picked up a few moves of his own. Yes, Eric is going to have to do some major damage control with all of the ballerina/princess-mania that the Jakester is exposed to on a daily basis. For most of the weekend, for example, Grace only answered to "Tinkerbell" and encouraged us to all wear fairy wings.

So there's a snapshot of what we've been up to. Now, if I could just figure out how to freeze the dress-up days, dance parties, and even sticky little fingers...

In the meantime, I'll try to keep you better posted by "watering" the old blog a little more than my houseplants ... which won't be hard to do since that's almost never. :->